We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

The best jokes and joke writers!

Ethiopians and Yoko Ono

Q: What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?

A: They both live off dead Beatles.

Welsh Shagging Sheep

Q: Why do the Welsh shag sheep on cliff edges?

A: So the sheep push back harder!

Trapped Within a Bog

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there." Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help." As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"

New Language Courses in Ameirca

New languages being taught in America:

  • Afro-American Speak -- Ebonics (or We-Beonics)
  • Irish-American Speak -- Leprechaunics
  • Native-American Speak -- Kimosabics
  • Italio-American Speak -- Spumonics (or Rigatonics)
  • Chinese-American Speak -- Won-tonics
  • Japanese-American Speak -- Mama-san-ics
  • Polish-American Speak -- Kielbasanics
  • Jewish-American Speak -- Zionics
  • Russian-American Speak -- Rasputonics
  • Spanish-American Speak -- Flan-ics
  • Scottish-American Speak -- Tartan-ics
  • Eskimo-American Speak -- Harpoonics
  • German-American Speak -- Autobaunics (or Teutonics)
  • Canadian-American Speak -- EH?onics
  • Florida Democratic Voters Speak -- Moronics

Live Bait Fishing

There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up. While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, "God bless you children, that's Christianity at work. May the lord bless you both," and then kept on walking. One bloke looks at the other, "Who the fuck was that?" "Oh," said the other bloke, "that's Father Johnston. He knows all there is about the bible." The other bloke looked around and quickly says, "Well he knows fuck about shark fishing."