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The best jokes and joke writers!

Russian Persuasion

An international archaeological expedition unearths an Egyptian mummy. They've never seen a mummy like it, and are totally confused.

The Americans X-ray the mummy and all it's artifacts. They analyze all the materials down to their atoms, but come back empty handed.

The French have a go. Their best historians and linguists examine the hieroglyphics and scrolls. After months of effort, they too come back empty handed.

The KGB attaché accompanying the Russians wants to have a go. Everyone else agrees, as they've all run out of ideas.

They take the mummy. 10 minutes later, they're back. "He's Akemtomph the Fifth, from the house of Isigord. He ruled from 575 BC to 549 BC."

"How did you get this information?" Everyone else asks in astonishment.

"He confessed."

Lawyers Arrive in Japan

Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a matter of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.

What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent.

Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York!

The decline has begun. Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 engineers. In the United States, that ratio is reversed.

But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open practices in Japan.

If anything can slow the Japanese economy, it's the presence of American attorneys. What better way to even our balance of trade than to send Japan our costliest surplus commodity?

Greece Capital -Riddles

Q: What is the capital of Greece?

A: About £10

Sudanese Government

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

When the Sudanese government showed an interest in buying two Russian transport planes to ferry supplies to famine-ridden ares in the south, the acting Soviet ambassador allowed the Sudanese to test-fly the aircraft. They flew to rebel-held Yirol and bombed the city, pushing bombs out of the cargo doors. 

Death by Job Title

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man,"And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"