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The best jokes and joke writers!

German Virgins

Q: What do you call a German virgin?

A: Goodandtight!

Polack Hiding In Tree

A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the German soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide by each climbing a tree. When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..."

The Germans, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..."

The Germans, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo, moo..."

German Attitude

Q: What do you call a German with a bad attitude?

A: Sauerkraut.

Medical Technology Advances

A group of doctors were at a convention in Switzerland. The topic of discussion was the new medical technology from their countries. "In my country," a German doctor said, "medicine is so advanced, we can perform heart surgery on a person on Monday, and have him back to work in 2 weeks." "That's nothing," a Japanese doctor said. "We can perform an appendectomy on a person on Tuesday, and have him back in work by Saturday."
"That's nothing!" said an American doctor. "We can take an asshole from Arkansas, put him in the White House and half the country is out of work the next day!"

I Love You in 9 Languages

HOW TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" IN 9 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES:

English - I Love you

Spanish - Te Amo

French - Je T'aime

German - Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese - Ai Shite Imasu

Italian - Ti Amo

Chinese - Wo Ai Ni

Swedish - Jag Alskar

Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Mississippi, North Carolina and Kentucky - Nice Tits