Irishman Suicide

Q: What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by  swallowing 100 pain killers?
A: After two he began to feel better.

Proper Passing

McTavish is on his death bed. He calls over his friend Hamish and says, “I have a bottle of 25-year-old whisky under my pillow. When I’m dead would you do me a kindness and pour it over my grave?” “Of course I will,” replies Hamish. “Though I might be passing it through my kidneys first.”

Jews in Mexico?

A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican replies, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”