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The best jokes and joke writers!

Officer Termination

An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job.

No exact details were given to the public, but word has it that he was a high wanking officer.

Meeting Women

Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy -- right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.

Tampons and Cigarettes

A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?" "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she."

Muslim Teen

Q: How is an American teen girl different from an Muslim teen girl?

A An American teen girl gets stoned before she has sex.

Bad Combination

Q: What happens if you're given MDMA and LSD at the same time?

A: You're off to a bad start for a game of Scrabble.