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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bad Combination

Q: What happens if you're given MDMA and LSD at the same time?

A: You're off to a bad start for a game of Scrabble.

New Drug

Did you here about the pharmaceutical company? They developed a new drug that, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent and become a nun.

The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.

PC Pot

A Dell employee got busted for pot in Manhattan recently. President Bush and many conservative lawmakers are surprisingly upset, as they have always pushed the view that marijuana is a Gateway drug.

Long Line

My girlfriend has asked if I want to go to karaoke. I've decided to do Whitney Houston's biggest hit. You know, that one she took in the bath. Anything to avoid having to go to karaoke.

Animals Doing Drugs

A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you." The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a f**king idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"