An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job.
No exact details were given to the public, but word has it that he was a high wanking officer.
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy -- right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Tampons and Cigarettes
A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?" "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she."
Q: How is an American teen girl different from an Muslim teen girl?
A An American teen girl gets stoned before she has sex.
Q: What happens if you're given MDMA and LSD at the same time?
A: You're off to a bad start for a game of Scrabble.