I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
A woman walks up to an obnoxious drunk at a bar and tells him, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your drink." The man replies, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
After sex, a lot of people like to smoke a cigarette. As a gay man, me and my boyfriend smoke weed after sex. After all, in the bible it says "if a man lies with another man, he should be stoned."
Bright Eyed, Bushy Tail
Q: What's bright eyed and bushy tailed?
A: A squirrel on crack.
Jack And Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana Jack got high pulled down his fly and Jill said I don't wanna!