Disease / Afflictions Jokes - Menstruation / PMS Jokes

A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?" "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she."

Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?

A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her.

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in alight bulb?

A: One. ONE! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change alight bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they FIGURED IT OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...I'm sorry...what did you ask me?

One day, God went to find Adam and Eve in the garden, but found that Adam was sitting by himself. "Where's Eve?" He asked. "Well," said Adam, "She started to bleed. This happens every month or so." "So where is she?" asked God. "Well, she went down to the river to wash up." replied Adam. "Darn," said God. "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish!"

A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint; she finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. The clerk replies, "Yes it is the correct price. For one week only, you can purchase five boxes of tampons for one dollar, no strings attached."