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The best jokes and joke writers!

Priorities

Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He touches the man in the wheelchair and the guy jumps up and walks away. He walks to the last guy and the guy yells, 'Whoa, God! I'm on workman's comp!'

Policeman Encounters Seeing Eye Dog

A policeman was directing traffic at a busy intersection when he observed a blind man and his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross. To his horror, he watched as the seeing-eye dog bolted across the street, dragging the blind man behind him. On the other side of the road, the man pulled out a cookie and offered it to his dog. The officer ran to the blind man and said, "Don't you realize your dog could have killed you, and now you're going to reward him?" The blind man said to the policeman, "Why, no sir, I'm just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass."

Obama Birthday Golf

To help celebrate his 53rd birthday, Stevie Wonder challenged Obama to a round of golf at Andrews Air Force base.  Obama can't believe that a blind person is challenging him and tries to decline but Stevie is insistent that they play. Curious, Obama asks Stevie how he manages to play golf being blind? "When I tee off, " the singer explained, "I have a guy call to me from the green." " My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Stevie tells Obama that he'd like to make a wager and offers to host a free concert anywhere Obama chooses if he looses. If he wins, he gets to borrow Air Force One for a day of joy-riding around the world. Obama figures the deck is stacked in his favor and readily agrees to the wager. Obama eagerly asked Stevie when he would like to play. Stevie replied, "I'll play on any NIGHT you choose!"

Braille Message

Q: What's the most terrifying thing to read in braille?

A: Do not touch.

Blind Man in the Fish Store

Q: What did the blind man say in front of the fish store?

A: "Hi Ladies"