The Blind Sky Diver
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, that's the easy part. It's when the dog's leash goes slack."
Policeman Encounters Seeing Eye Dog
A policeman was directing traffic at a busy intersection when he observed a blind man and his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross. To his horror, he watched as the seeing-eye dog bolted across the street, dragging the blind man behind him. On the other side of the road, the man pulled out a cookie and offered it to his dog. The officer ran to the blind man and said, "Don't you realize your dog could have killed you, and now you're going to reward him?" The blind man said to the policeman, "Why, no sir, I'm just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass."
Obama Birthday Golf
To help celebrate his 53rd birthday, Stevie Wonder challenged Obama to a round of golf at Andrews Air Force base. Obama can't believe that a blind person is challenging him and tries to decline but Stevie is insistent that they play. Curious, Obama asks Stevie how he manages to play golf being blind? "When I tee off, " the singer explained, "I have a guy call to me from the green." " My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."
Stevie tells Obama that he'd like to make a wager and offers to host a free concert anywhere Obama chooses if he looses. If he wins, he gets to borrow Air Force One for a day of joy-riding around the world. Obama figures the deck is stacked in his favor and readily agrees to the wager. Obama eagerly asked Stevie when he would like to play. Stevie replied, "I'll play on any NIGHT you choose!"
Blind Man in the Fish Store
Q: What did the blind man say in front of the fish store?
A: "Hi Ladies"
Stevie Wonder's Wife
Q: Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders wife?
A: Neither has he.