A blind man is at the optometrist’s with his guide dog. Both are facing the eye test chart on the wall. The optometrist takes the guide dog away, replaces it with another guide dog, and asks, “Is that better or worse?”
Little Herbie had been blind since birth. One day at bedtime, his mother told him that the next day was a very special one. If he prayed extra hard, he'd be able to see when he woke up in the morning. The next morning she came into Herbie's room to make sure he'd prayed hard the night before. 'Well then, open your eyes and you'll know that your prayers have been answered.” Little Herbie opened his eyes, only to cry out, 'Mother! Mother! I still can't see!' 'I know, dear,' said his mother. 'April Fool!'
You Mama - Crippled
Yo momma's so ugly she makes the blind go crippled!
Q: Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
A: Because he's married
The Blind Golfers
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers...
Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?
George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
The group was silent for a moment.
Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?