Disability Jokes

Came out of the store and saw a huge scrape down the side of my car. A couple of witnesses said it was a person in an electric wheelchair. They ran into my car and just kept on going. I just wanted to tell that person I will find you... 

You can hide, but you can't run.

Say what you want about deaf people...
 

Two young men sneak on to a blind man's property in order to steal something of value. The blind man hears them and goes to the door with his shot gun. The two young men, seeing the blind man, stand motionless. The blind calls out, "Marco!". Silence. He tries once more, "Marco!" More silence. One more time, "Marco!" One of the young men, tired of the game, yells out, "We aren't going to fall for that..." *BANG!

I was recently charged with domestic violence and I won. It wasn't my fault - she never listened, always ignored me when I talked, and whenever I would flip her off, she would flip me off. That's the last time I date a deaf girl...

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, "boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!" The other Buddy says "when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." "How do you do that?" Says the other. "It's easy! I turn off the light!"