Respect For The Dead

I believe in respect for the dead, in fact I could only respect you if you were dead.

Last Musical Request

The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day. As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions." The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead. The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall... ."

Heaven and Smoking

Q: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven?
A: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there.