Lawyer Minivan Tragedy

Q: Four lawyers drive a minivan over a cliff. What's the tragedy?
A: The minivan could've held eight lawyers.

The Carpet Layer Loses His Cigarettes

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my gerbil."

Tombstone

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.