The Pepsi Plane Crash

There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle. A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew. They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew. They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief nods and simply says, "Yes...seen plane crash". When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!" The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!" Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi!" Finally, another rescuer had to ask, "Did you..you know...eat their...things?" The chief says, "NO, you idiot!... even cannibals know that...THINGS go better with Coke!"

Wife Buried Her Husband

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"

Cold One

Q: Who doesn't like a hot date?
A: A necrophiliac.