Michael Jackson's Legos

Have you heard? Michael Jackson’s last wish was that his body be turned into Legos. So little kids can play with him. It turns out this wish hasn’t been difficult to implement, as his body was already 99% plastic.

Wife Down

I woke up this morning at 9:00 and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!  I panicked.  I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered, McDonalds serves breakfast all day.

Harambe at MadTree

Harambe and a friend walk into the taproom at MadTree Brewing in Cincinnati. After quite a few drinks, Harambe asks for a final mug of Happy Amber, his favorite brew. His friend says, "Dude, you've had too much today. Just get some ice to suck on for a while until we leave." Harambe nods his agreement, and the bartender says, "So, just ice?"
His friend says, "Yep, just ice for Harambe."