Blonde - Sleeping Pills
Q: Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?
A: Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!!
Blonde at School
Day1: A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies, "yes dear"
Day 2: "We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies, "yes dear".
Day 3: "We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies, "No dear, it's because your 25.
Blonde Lipstick Usage
I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind!
Death in the Family
A brunette walks over to her blonde friend's home and finds her crying. "What happened? Why are you crying?" The blonde tells her that her mother has passed away. The neighbor makes her some coffee, comforts her, and then leaves. The next day the neighbor goes back over to the house and finds the blonde crying again. Once again, she asks her why she was crying? This time the blonde replies hysterically, "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk. "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk. "Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth," the blonde replies.