Father's Surprise

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! - A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!" But the bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! - Two arms pop out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! - Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly! The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says..."That boy should have quit while he was a head!"

A Man's Horses

A guy walks into a bar looking frustrated. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The guy replies, "Well I've got these two horses and I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods." The bartender suggests, "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?" The guy says, "That sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it." A few months later, he returns to the bar in worse condition. "I shaved the tail of one of the horses, but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!" The bartender says, "Why don't you try shaving the mane?" A few months later the guy is back. "I shaved the mane of one of the horses, but it grew back!" The bartender yells, "Just measure the damn horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller that the other one!" The guy storms out of the bar. The next day, the guy runs into the bar. "It worked, it worked!" he exclaims. "I measured the horses, and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"

A Bar Name

A guy walks into a store and says to the manager "Why doesn't your store have a name?" the store manager says, "I haven't thought of one yet but I think you can help me, what's your girlfriend's name." The guy says "Jenny" then the store owner says, "What do you like most about Jenny?" and the guy says "her legs." So the store manager says "okay, that's what we'll call my store, Jenny's Legs. Here's a coupon come back tomorrow morning and you can have a free drink." And the man says "okay." The next day the man comes back to the store banging on the window yelling "Where's my free drink, where's my free drink!" Then a police officer comes up to him and says, "What are you doing?" and the guy says "I'm waiting for Jenny's Legs to open up."