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Important Notice

Men. be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking news is that the drug is available virtually anywhere! It goes by the street name "Beer." All girls have to do is buy a "Beer" or two for almost any guy and then simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered literally helpless against such tactics.

Golf Club In A Bar

A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club. "You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.

Jodi's Purse

A drunk guy calls a radio station on Christmas day and asks for the DJ. He tells him that he found a purse outside the mall. It has $1500 in cash, a couple of credit cards, an iPhone 13 pro, and a driver's license with Jodi's name on it."

The DJ replied, "Wow, sort of a Christmas miracle. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can return the purse?"

"No. I just wanted to request a sad song for Jodi."

The Drunk and His Mongoose

A drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"

"A mongoose."

"What for?"

"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I drink, I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."

"You idiot," the friend said. "Those are imaginary snakes."

"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box. "So is the mongoose."

Clearing It

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangeled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he finishes the disgusted bartender says, "Why in the hell did you shit on my bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"