Bar Crowd

A guy notices a crowd of women at the end of the bar. Curious, he walks toward the end and sees an immensely ugly guy being hit on by several ladies. He sits next to another fella and asks "So, what's this guy's deal? Is he rich or famous?" "Dunno," says the other guy, "he just sits there licking his eyebrows."

The Right Stuff

A man walks into a bar, orders a Corona, two Hurricanes, and a Forest Fire. The bartender says, "That'll be $20.20."

As Long As A Cat's Tail

Two men are in a bar are boasting about their prowess and one of them says, "My cock is longer than that cat's tail." A bet is made, the bartender supplies a ruler, and the cat is roused and measured. When the bartender begins the second measurement, the stud says, "Just a moment! Where did you measure that cat's tail from?" "From the asshole." says the bartender. "Well, kindly do me the same favor."