Blondes Love Puzzles

A bartender was working at a bar one night, when in walked a group of blondes chanting "44 days! 44 days!" One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monster in a frame.
The bartender leaned towards the blonde holding the puzzle and asked, "Why are you chanting 44 days?"
She set down the puzzle on the counter and said, "A lot of people think us blondes are dumb, so to show them, we bought this puzzle and put it together. It said 1-3 months but we completed it in 44 days!"

Two Drunks

I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my friend Perry , "That'll be us in ten years."
He turned to me and said, "That's a mirror, you dumb shit."

Monkey Blowing

A guy walks into a bar with his monkey and tells the bartender, "What do you say you buy me a drink if I can get this monkey here to bl*w me?" The bartender agrees and the guy smacks his monkey upside his head. The monkey falls over, jumps up, pulls the guys thing out, and starts bl*wing. Another guy at the end of the bar has been watching in amazement and says, "Hey, can I try that?!" The monkey owner says, "Sure," and the other guy says, "Okay, just don't hit me that hard."