Nose Walks Into a Bar

A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already off your face."

Asian Bar

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar. He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender, "I'll have a pint please." The bartender looks him up and down, laughs and says, "You're way too young!"
The boy replied, "How you know my name?"

The Fight!

Kelly limps into his favorite pub, "My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley", whispered Kelly to the bartender.
"Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said surprised. "He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was."
"Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"
"Aye, that I did - Mrs. Riley's right tit." Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!"