Hostile Happy Hour

Q: What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar?
A: He got bombed.

Woman With a Black Eye

A woman went to the bar with a black eye. "How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town?" he asked. "So did I!" she said.

The Drunk and His Mongoose

A drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"
"A mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I drink, I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."
"You idiot," the friend said. "Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box. "So is the mongoose."