Teddy Bears

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."

The Robot Bartender

A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"  The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."  Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"  The man responded, "110." So the robot started talking about the Super Bowl, dirt bikes, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool."  A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"  The man replied, "80."  The robot then replied, "So, how are things in Poland these days?"

Definition of Panda

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves".