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The best jokes and joke writers!

Three of Us

A couple of years ago, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my new roommate Joe barged into the room from nowhere, tripped and broke the glass table with his face. It totally ruined the moment. I didn't know Joe that well, didn't know where he was from, but i put my proposal on hold just to help him with his injuries.

Joe had shards of glass removed from his eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared along with my girlfriend.

Apparently they bonded during the time he was recovering and had eloped together, leaving me behind without even a note. I tried tracking them down, but to no avail.

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for the cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

Madonna and the Panama Canal

Q: What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?

A: Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch...

Answering Machine - Madonna

Madonna's "Justify My Love"; sultry voice: Wanting... Waiting... for you, to justify your call.

Performing Singers

Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?

A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.

A Wagnerian Soprano

Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman?

A: Stage makeup.