Bagpipers Changing a lightbulb

Q: How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it.

What's Worse Than A Bagpiper?

Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
A: Good question. We're trying to figure that out too.

Must Be Only 20 Minutes

Q: Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
A: So you don't have to retrain the cellists.