New Weight Loss Plan

This really fat guy wanted to lose weight. He tried every diet he could think of but none of them worked. One day he read in the paper about a place that said you could lose 20 pounds in one day. Guaranteed. He decided to go. When he arrived he saw a beautiful girl. She said, "Hi, my name is Ann, come and get me if you can." So he started chasing her and he lost his 20 pounds. Then he decided to lose 50 pounds. So two weeks later he went again. This time he saw a really big guy.
The guy said, "Hi, I'm Lars, and I'm going to put this in your arse."

Dating a Midget

I use to date a midget... I was nuts over her!

Red One

My friend's baby was born with a severe disfigurement and he is blaming himself
I have to agree. He is the one with the ginger gene.