Two Blokes Were Out Walking Home From Work One Afternoon

Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon."Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the wife's knickers off!" "What's the rush?" his mate asked."The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.

Yo Mama - Whale

Yo mama so fat when she asked to ride a dolphin they gave her whale.

Skeleton Who Won't Get Up

Q: What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the mornings?
A: Lazy bones!