Sticks and Stones
When a horse has a small penis, the other horses tease him by saying he's hung like a human.
Green and Laughs
Q: What's green and laughs at you while riding away?
A: A Leprechaun on a race horse!
Texas Plastic Surgeons
Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."
Cowboy's Three Requests
A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos intent on killing him. In their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and grant him three requests. For his first, he asked for his horse. He whispered something to his horse, who then rode off and returned with a beautiful woman. The cowboy spent the night with the woman. The same thing happened the second day. But when the horse returned on the third day with another woman, the cowboy lost his temper and yelled, "You stupid horse! I said 'posse!"
A Nun's Ass
A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race. But then she realized that they cost way too much, so instead, she bought a donkey. The next day, she enters it into a contest and it comes in third. The headlines read, ''Nun's Ass Chokes.'' The next day, she entered it in another competition and this time it came in first. The headlines were, ''Nun's Ass Wins Grand Prize.'' The following day, the owner scratched the donkey from the race. The headlines read, ''Booker Scratches Nun's Ass.''
And on the next day, the nun sold the donkey for a really cheap price. The headlines were ''Nun Sells Her Ass for $5.''