We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Why Ask Why - 3

  • When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
  • If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
  • Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
  • Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
  • Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
  • Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
  • Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
  • Why does one get in trouble for wreckLESS driving?
  • Does a fish get cramps after eating?
  • Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Jonah and the Whale

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small. The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

Abbot and a Trout

Q: What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?

A: Monkfish!

Doctor Doctor - Three Crabs

Patient: Doctor, Doctor I've had tummy ache since I ate three crabs yesterday.

Doctor: Did they smell bad when you took them out of their shells?

Patient: What do you mean "took them out of their shells"?

Wall Fish

Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

A: Dam.