Rottweiler Goes To The Vet

A man's big Rottweiler has been losing its vision, so the owner brings the dog to the vet. The veterinarian picks the dog up and says, "I will have to put him down." The owner asks, "Why? Because he's blind?" The vet replied, "No, he's heavy. I need to put him down."

Canine Time

Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?
A: A watchdog!

You Might Be A Redneck 48

You might be a redneck if...

• You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
• Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than grandpa.
• Your masseuse uses lard.
• Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
• You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
• On stag night, you take a real deer.
• Your back porch is bigger than your house.
• There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
• You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
• A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.