Milking the Cow

A dairy farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks him, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?" Farmer, "Some things you just can't explain." Man, "So what happened that's so horrible?" Farmer, "Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket. "Man, "Okay, but that's not so bad, what happened then?" Farmer, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left." Man, "And then?" Farmer, "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket." Man, "So, what did you do then?" Farmer, "I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail." Man, "So, what did you do?" Farmer, "Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in. Some things you just can't explain."

Ear Bug

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

Cow and Duck

Q: What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and quackers.