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The best jokes and joke writers!

Cat Stalker

Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

A: When you’re a mouse.

Rocket Fuel

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"

"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."

Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"

Cats' Magazine

Q: What magazine do cats like to read?

A: Good Mousekeeping.

The Big Show

Q: What do you call a show full of lions?

A: The mane event.

Why do Women Love Cats????

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.