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The best jokes and joke writers!

Witches Cat

Q: How do you get milk from a witch's cat?

A: Steal her saucer!

Dangerous Crossing

Q: What happened to the man who tried to cross a lion with a goat?

A: He had to get a new goat.

Two Cats and the River

There were two cats that enjoyed running together. The first cat was english, called One-two-three.  The other was french and called Un-deux-trois.  One day when they were running they came to a huge river. The cats took a large run up and leapt as far as they could.

Q: Which cat drowned?

A: Un-deux-trois cat sank (un deux trois quatre cinq)

How to Collect Cat Urine

Instructions on how to collect a beaker of cat urine:

1. Treat the beaker like your most prized possession.

2. Solemnly intone the word "no" every time the cat approaches the beaker.

3. After completing steps #1 and #2, leave the cat alone with the beaker for thirty seconds.

Cat Cereal

Q: What kind of cereal do cats eat?

A: Mice Crispies!