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The best jokes and joke writers!

Cat Under the Car

Q: Why did the cat sleep under the car?

A: Because she wanted to wake up oily!

Things I've Learned From My Cat

  • Make the world your playground.
  • Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up.
  • Dragging a sock over it helps.
  • If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
  • When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
  • Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
  • Nap often.When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
  • Life is hard, and then you nap.
  • Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
  • Variety is the spice of life.
  • One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them and play with them when they're busy.
  • Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
  • Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
  • Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".

Cat On The Highway

Q: What noise does a cat make going down the highway?

A: Meooooooooooooooooooow!

Halloween Cat

Just my luck, every cat I've ever owned has already died 8 times.

Celebrity Jokes - Katy Perry

Q: Katy Perry has a pet cat, what does she name it?

A: Catty Purry!