My Rooster, Your Donkey

Q: If I have a rooster and you have a donkey, and your donkey bites off my rooster's feet, what do you have?
A: Two feet of my cock in your ass.

Bee Sting

Q: What does a bee say before it stings you?
A: This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!

Penguin Car Trouble

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping. He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, "It looks like you've blown a seal." The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, "No, I've just eaten some ice-cream."