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The best jokes and joke writers!

God Created Alcohol

Q: Why did God create alcohol?

A: So ugly people could have sex, too.

Shaky Hand

Patient: Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me! I just can't stop my hands shaking!

Doc: Do you drink a lot?

Patient: Not really - I spill most of it!

Irish Guy in the Hospital

Q: How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital?

A: He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan.

Too Much Celebrating

The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Elliot," she said, pointing, "do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?"

The husband looked over and nodded. "Well," the woman continued, "he's been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!"

The husband returned to his meal. "Nonsense," he said, "even that's not worth so much celebrating!"

Drunk Chicken

Q: What do you get from a drunk chicken?

A: Scotch eggs!