Michael Jackson, Lawyer, and Boy on a Plane

Michael Jackson, his lawyer, and a small, cute boy are on a plane when the plane suddenly develops engine troubles. "Bad news," the lawyer said. "There are only two parachutes. You and me will go." "What about the boy?" asks Michael. "Screw the boy!" "Do we have time?"

Tasered At The Airport

Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout, "Hi Jack!"

Helpful Advice For Travellers

If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you because... what are the odds of two guys being on the same plane at the same time with a bomb?