Psy Cards

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!            
Psychiatrist:  Sit over there and I'll deal with you later!

The Patient and the Biscuit Tin

Patient:  Doctor, you've got to help me. Every night I get the uncontrollable urge to go downstairs and stick my dick into the biscuit tin. Do you know what's wrong with me?
Doctor:  Yes... You're fucking crackers!

Worried

"I'm worried," said the woman to her sex therapist. "I happened to find my daughter and the little boy next door both naked and examining each other's bodies." "That's not unusual," smiled the therapist. "I wouldn't worry about it." "But I am worried, doctor," insisted the woman, "and so is my daughter's husband!"