Profession Jokes - Psychiatrist Jokes

I told my psychiatrist, "My wife sent me here because I like pancakes." She said, "Liking pancakes doesn't make you crazy. I like pancakes too." I said, "Great! Come down to the house. I got a whole basement full!"

Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall. One turned to the other and said, "Hello." The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."

Q: Why do psychiatrists give their patients shock treatment?

A: To prepare them for the bill!

When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, "Life isn't worth living. I think I'm gonna top myself." "Don't be stupid, Joe," said the psychiatrist. "My wife ran off and left me too, yet I'm happy." "How?" asked Joe. "Easy," replied the quack. "I threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself in my job and soon forgot her. By the way, Joe, what work do you do?" "I clean out septic tanks." Joe replied.

A distraught man went to a psychiatrist and exclaimed, "Doctor, I believe that I am possessed by an evil spirit." After talking to the patient at some length, the psychiatrist said, "You do appear to have a problem. I'd like to see you again next Wednesday." After a second session of psychotherapy, the psychiatrist pronounced his patient completely cured. For the next nine months, the psychiatrist sent the man a monthly statement for his professional services, but the man wouldn't pay and refused to acknowledge the debt. Finally, the psychiatrist took the man to court and had him repossessed.