Bad Dream

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again." "What dream?" asked the shrink, not really paying attention. "You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"

Easy Psychoanalysis for Men

Q: Why is psycho- analysis so much easier for men rather than women?
A: Because when it comes time to revert to childhood, men are already there.

Identity Crisis

Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?
Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken?
Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.