Dale Carnegie

Q: Did you hear about the statistician who took the Dale Carnegie course?
A: He improved his confidence from .95 to .99

Wordsmithing

A new mortuary in a tough mill town decided to advertise in an unorthodox fashion and so draped a banner on the front of their building that read, "Our Staff will stuff your Stiff." 
Not to be outdone, the madame across the street had her girls respond with a banner too saying,"Our Stuff will stiff your Staff."

Headmasters and Bullfrogs

Q:  What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!