Fishing on the Lake

A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the general, using an oar. Catching his breath, he puffed: "Please don't say a word about this to anyone. If the Navy found I can't swim I'd be disgraced. "Don't worry," the general said. "Your secret is safe. I'd hate to have my men find out I can't walk on water."

Amish Mechanic

Q: What would you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse's ass?
A: A Mechanic.

Mail Carriers.

Q: What kind of drugs are mail carriers not tested for?
A: SPEED!