Jewish Doctor

A Psychiatrist is just a Jewish doctor who can't stand the sight of blood.

What's Up Doc

Patient: "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I'm getting smaller!"
Doctor: "Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."

Reasoning Test

Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test. The doctor says to the first gal, "What is three times three?" "297," was her prompt reply. "Ummm humm," says the doc. The doctor says to the second lady, "It's your turn now. What is three times three?" "Friday," replies the second lady. "Ummm humm..." Then the doc says to the third, "Okay, ma'am, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," she says. "That's wonderful!" says the doc. "Tell me, how did you get that?" "Simple," she says, beaming... "I subtracted 297 from Friday!"