A Facelift Experience

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up." "Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear." "That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office. "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made." "What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers. "Lady," the doctor reports, "those aren't bags, those are your boobs, and if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to have a beard!"

Two Psychologists

Two Psychologists met each other in a street one day. One said to the other, "You're good today, how am I?"

Thanks Doc!

A patient says to his doctor, "Hey, Doc! I've been getting these migraines for a long time now! I can't think straight! I need help!" Doctor says to patient, "You know what? I used to have the same problem, and whenever I do get migraines, I go home to my wife. She cooks me my favorite meal, rubs my toes, kiss my nipples and well (smiles sheepishly), you know what happens next!"... next day... patient says, "Hey doc! Thanks for your advice. It worked!" Doctor says, "Oh really? That's good to hear!" "Oh by the way, "Patient says, "You've got a great house!"