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The best jokes and joke writers!

Blonde - Doctor Visit

"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, I think it's due to drinking." "In that case," replied his blonde patient, "I'll come back when you're sober."

Migraine Treatment

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL has no improvement.

"Listen," says the Doctor, "I have migraines, too, and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for awhile. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever been able to help me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."

"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house."

Spooky Love

There is an old colonial cemetery where the grave markers are flat.  A man and woman sneak in there one night after a Halloween party to make love.  The next day the woman is complaining of a terrible back ache, so she goes to see her doctor.  The doctor asks her to put on a gown and examines her back but finds nothing wrong.  He asks her how old she is, and she says 28.  The doctor says that's interesting because it says on your ass that you died in 1784.

Perfectly Healthy

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."

Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

Memory Pills

Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?

Patient: What pills?