Profession Jokes - Lawyer Jokes
Get Away with Murder
Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years"
Herman: "Hmm. I killed a man, and I'm here for 3 days"
George: "*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???"
Herman: "Yeah, it was a lawyer."
Q: How was wire invented?
A: Two lawyers pulling on a penny.
Looks Good On A Lawyer
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes viagra?
A: He gets taller!
A guy in a bar stands up and says, "All lawyers are assholes."
Another guy stands up and says "Hey... I resent that!"
The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"
The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."