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The best jokes and joke writers!

Hollandaise

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "allI can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

Depressed Dentist

Q: What do you call a depressed dentist?

A: A little down in the mouth.

The Careful Dentist

There's this woman who goes to the dentist.  As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls.  

The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates."

The woman replies, "Yes...  And we're going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren't we!"

Dentist

Q: Why don't dentists display their awards?

A: Because they want to prevent plaque build-up.

Paying the Dentist

As soon as the dentist asked the patient to sit down, he pulled out his wallet. Seeing this the dentist said, "Please don't, you don't need to pay me now". The patient answered: "Pay you! I just want to count my money before I'm unconscious!"