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The best jokes and joke writers!

Dental Discount

The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he wanted the lowest possible price. "No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with." "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?" Mr. Smith turned to his wife and said, "Show him, honey."

Dentist

Dentist: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to give a few of your loudest screams."

Patient: "Why, Doc? It isn't all that bad this time."

Dentist: "Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the five o'clock Braves game on Channel 4."

The Careful Dentist

There's this woman who goes to the dentist.  As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls.  

The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates."

The woman replies, "Yes...  And we're going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren't we!"

Paying the Dentist

As soon as the dentist asked the patient to sit down, he pulled out his wallet. Seeing this the dentist said, "Please don't, you don't need to pay me now". The patient answered: "Pay you! I just want to count my money before I'm unconscious!"

Realizing Your Age

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well, you'll love this one... 

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school. 'Yes. Yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride. 'When did you graduate?' I asked. He answered, 'In 1967. Why do you ask?' 'You were in my class!' I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired man asked, 'What did you teach?'