Where is the Accountant?

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.  His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."

How's Business?

Two lawyers met at a cocktail party late one night. "How's business?" asked the first. "Rotten," replied the other. "Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for twenty miles. When I finally caught up to it, there were already two other lawyers hanging on to the bumper."

Name Change

When I was growing up my parents used to tell me that I can be anyone I wanted. 
Now the police call that Identity theft.