Bad Bribe

Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the prosecution. The jury was out for nearly a week before they returned to court with the manslaughter verdict. When Shultz paid the juror, he asked him if it had been hard to persuade the other jurors to get the charge of manslaughter. "Sure did," the juror replied, "all the others wanted to acquit him!"

Write and Wrong

A writer dies and reaches the Golden Gates where God gives him a choice to either go to Heaven or Hell. He finds it difficult to make up his mind so he asks God if he can have a little tour of both places.
God agrees and they first go to Hell where the writer sees rows and rows of writers, chained to their desks in an overheated room, being whipped if they stopped writing for a second by merciless editors and publishers. This really frightens the writer who then proceeds to Heaven hoping it'll be better.
In Heaven too he sees rows of writers, chained to their desks in an over heated room, being whipped mercilessly.
So he turns to God and says, "But they're both the same!"
To which God replies, "Oh no. Here in Heaven your work gets published!"

How Old Are You?

A student asked his teacher how old she was. She promptly said, "39 and holding." Then the student asked, "Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?"