Headache Cure

John went to Dr. Smith because of intense migraine headaches. The doctor tried many things, but no relief. Finally, after many visits, the doc sat down and said, "You know, John, why don't you try something unusual. Why don't you do something that I always do when I have a headache like that.  I phone my wife and tell her I'm coming home. She waits for me in the bedroom, with her blouse off, and I nestle my head between those two beautiful breasts and soon the headache disappears! You ought to try something like that-- I don't know what else to do for you. It wouldn't hurt." "Well I might try something like that," said John. A month later, John is back in the clinic, seeing another doctor on another unrelated matter, and he and Dr. Smith pass each other in the hallway. "John!" says the doc, "Haven't seen you in a while!  How are those headaches?" "Great! They're all gone! Thanks for your advice!" said John. "Hey, that's fantastic!" said Dr. Smith, walking on down the hallway. "Say, Doc!" yelled John, down the hall, "Nice place you got there!"

Stockbroker at the I.R.S.

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them. Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, "You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle." "Why would you say that?" wondered the broker. "Because you've made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career."

The New Warden

A new jail warden was being shown through the jailhouse by the old warden. Soon, after making rounds around the rest of the jail, they get to the cafeteria. In one corner, he sees a group of elderly men laughing hysterically. Interested, he watches them while the older warden gets his food. One of the men shouts out "63!" and the entire table bursts out laughing. The new warden is totally baffled by the behavior of them. "74!", again a chorus of guffaws ring out. The old warden comes back to the table where the new warden sits staring, and the new warden asks "What are those elderly men doing." The old warden smirks, and says, "Oh, those are the life timers. They've been in here so long, they just number their jokes." Meanwhile another one calls out "2!". Nobody laughs. The new warden leans over and asks, "What happened?" To this the warden replied, "Oh, he blew the delivery."