Easter Time

Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
A: Hoppy Easter!

Drunk Man Finding Jesus

A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed. The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus. "Sure," said the drunk man. "I'll find Jesus." So the priest took the drunk man's head and dunked it into the baptismal waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and coughing. "Damn," said the drunk man. "Are you sure he fell in there?"

Tuns of Puns

• Our library has so many books they had to put it in a multi-story building.
• I knew a prisoner who crowded his roommates terribly by building a huge aquarium in their room. It was just plain cell-fish of him!
• Smoke dynamite... it'll really blow your mind.
• Scientists report that dieters lost brain cells as well as body weight.
• It's a case of think or slim.
• My camera is broken. But, I won't have a negative attitude - I'll take it to the repair shop and see what develops.
• People think I broke it but the crime isn't so black and white. Ah, I get the picture - I'm being framed!
• A vampire walks into a bar, and asks for a "Large glass of A-positive blood." The bartender looks him square in the eyes, and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your type here!"
• If you shake up a can of beer, and spill it on your stove, do you get foam on the range?
• My cat got stolen. I think it was taken by a purr snatcher.